I am so happy to share that I have cracked the 10kg weight loss mark this morning. I'm so freakin' happy. 10kg closer to getting that BFP.
Baby is an awesome motivator.
In other TTC related news, I'm CD9 and Sydney Boy is coming home tonight from Queensland so no doubt there will be some BDing tonight... if he's home early enough that is (his plane has been delayed so not likely to be home before 11pm now... BOOOO). Hoping to get some BD'ing in over the next few days leading up to (hopefully) ovulation. Have been taking the Vitex so fingers crossed that is weaving some magic in there...
Surely 10kg loss + Vitex + Sex + Love must = Baby!?!
Here's to hoping!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I just found my ultimate commitment
I jumped onto Facebook this afternoon and saw this post:
I had already put the City 2 Surf as one of my goals for my 12 Week Body Transformation, but when I saw this post, that was it, it sealed the deal.
For every $45 I can raise, a gift bag will be given to a baby lost family in honour of my baby/ies which includes (amongst a number of things) a bear, candle, photo frame, poem etc etc. I really wish that I had been given a bear when I first lost my twins (almost) 3 years ago.
If that wasn't enough, when I read that if I raise $250 I can get a personalised shirt that says "I am running for XXXX", I realised that whether or not I raise the $250 for that shirt, I will make it my mission to run for not only my twins, but all of the babies taken too soon from their parents, and for all those parents who have been left heartbroken, feeling isolated and alone, that nobody 'gets it' and that nobody cares.
I care. I 'get it' and they are not alone.
To seal the deal, I posted it in my status update on my own Facebook:
There's no turning back now.
Anyone want to join me?
I had already put the City 2 Surf as one of my goals for my 12 Week Body Transformation, but when I saw this post, that was it, it sealed the deal.
For every $45 I can raise, a gift bag will be given to a baby lost family in honour of my baby/ies which includes (amongst a number of things) a bear, candle, photo frame, poem etc etc. I really wish that I had been given a bear when I first lost my twins (almost) 3 years ago.
If that wasn't enough, when I read that if I raise $250 I can get a personalised shirt that says "I am running for XXXX", I realised that whether or not I raise the $250 for that shirt, I will make it my mission to run for not only my twins, but all of the babies taken too soon from their parents, and for all those parents who have been left heartbroken, feeling isolated and alone, that nobody 'gets it' and that nobody cares.
I care. I 'get it' and they are not alone.
To seal the deal, I posted it in my status update on my own Facebook:
There's no turning back now.
Anyone want to join me?
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Another month, another bitch arrives
Well ladies, looks like we're out this month. AF has just arrived today, CD30.
Positives:
Positives:
- CD30 is pretty good compared to CD39, maybe my cycle might be normalising (hopefully?)
- I now have another month to lose more weight. The benefits of this are that it'll make me healthier, give me a greater chance of getting pregnant, make pregnancy easier on me than what it would've been if I hadn't lost the weight, less potential problems during pregnancy as a result of being overweight.
- No potential morning sickness for my flight back to Brisbane at the beginning of June.
Yes, must think of the positives - Lord knows the negatives suck ass.
Please Universe/God/Powers-that-Be don't let me get to the 3 year anniversary of when I miscarried and not be pregnant again. My 3 year anniversary is 5 June and hopes are fading for that wish to be fulfilled.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
CD28 and Weigh in day
Well, it's CD28 here for me and no AF. Who knows when she'll show up (if she does, and let's hope she doesn't!!!) - could be today, could be anytime in the next 10 days. She must be coming shortly though as I was very teary eyed this morning, but then again it is Mothers Day and yet again I still have no child and don't really feel that much closer, if at all, to having one.
In less than 1 month, it will be 3 years since I lost my twins. That's 3 years of waiting for another baby. No wonder I am so over the waiting. I think I'm entitled to be by now...
I was teary eyed yesterday explaining the plot of the movie, "The Notebook" to my Sydney Boy too so that tells me AF is probably on her way, the bitch mole.
In good news though, today was weigh in day and I was very pleased to discover another 1.7kg has disappeared off the scales. That means I have now lost 7.9kg and have another 3kg to reach double figures again. When I reach that 3kg, I have promised myself a spray tan as a reward for all my hard work (although not sure what purpose that is going to serve if I'm going to smash it out at the gym and sweat it all off!!! LOL).
I was a bit worried about weighing myself today if AF is just around the corner as it may have made me a bit heavier, so I was thrilled to see such a good result! If 1.7kg is gone, that must mean I'm now almost 2 steps closer to getting that BFP... I really have to believe that as it's the only thing that keeps me motivated.
The arthritis in my right knee has been playing up in the last 3 days (although it's somewhat better today), but then I had to go and slip on the board walk when we went to the Blue Mountains yesterday so now I have a nasty gash on my left knee that hurts like fuck. Not sure how I'll go with exercise tomorrow but I must do it if I am to lose that weight.
Must push on. I will get pregnant, damn it.
4 weeks with no chocolate, softdrink, dessert and counting...
In less than 1 month, it will be 3 years since I lost my twins. That's 3 years of waiting for another baby. No wonder I am so over the waiting. I think I'm entitled to be by now...
I was teary eyed yesterday explaining the plot of the movie, "The Notebook" to my Sydney Boy too so that tells me AF is probably on her way, the bitch mole.
In good news though, today was weigh in day and I was very pleased to discover another 1.7kg has disappeared off the scales. That means I have now lost 7.9kg and have another 3kg to reach double figures again. When I reach that 3kg, I have promised myself a spray tan as a reward for all my hard work (although not sure what purpose that is going to serve if I'm going to smash it out at the gym and sweat it all off!!! LOL).
I was a bit worried about weighing myself today if AF is just around the corner as it may have made me a bit heavier, so I was thrilled to see such a good result! If 1.7kg is gone, that must mean I'm now almost 2 steps closer to getting that BFP... I really have to believe that as it's the only thing that keeps me motivated.
The arthritis in my right knee has been playing up in the last 3 days (although it's somewhat better today), but then I had to go and slip on the board walk when we went to the Blue Mountains yesterday so now I have a nasty gash on my left knee that hurts like fuck. Not sure how I'll go with exercise tomorrow but I must do it if I am to lose that weight.
Must push on. I will get pregnant, damn it.
4 weeks with no chocolate, softdrink, dessert and counting...
Thursday, May 5, 2011
When you take your eye off the ball...
Time goes faster... just had a sneak peak at where I'm up to in my cycle and I'm already at CD25!!! Amazing what can happen when you're not paying attention!
Looks like my tactic of attention diversion has worked so far (just wish it'd worked for a few more days! LOL).
Looks like my tactic of attention diversion has worked so far (just wish it'd worked for a few more days! LOL).
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Let's step this up a notch...
I've been a bit slack in updating the blog, mainly because there's very little to report on for my TTC efforts other than, well, DTD which I'm sure none of you are particularly interested in ;) LOL
I've started taking Vitex and I had a good chat to the lady at the chemist. I'm glad I spoke to her as she was actually rather thorough asking questions about my cycle. TMI warning ahead: In talking to her, it seems that perhaps my cycles (apart from being all over the place) are not normal as talking about it, I don't seem to get much red blood when AF arrives, it's mostly brown and clotty. She said this isn't exactly normal but it's not something I need to be rushing off to the doctor about as she seems to think the Vitex will definitely sort this out. I'd be interested in hearing from others about this if you don't mind sharing? She said that it may take at least 2 cycles for the Vitex to have any effect - if you've taken Vitex, what are your experiences with it?
I thought I'd give also give a quick update on the weight loss while I'm here.
I've been going to the gym (including the gym in our building over Easter when the normal gym was closed!) regularly and trying to push harder each time. Every time it starts to feel too hard, I remind myself why I'm doing this, and start visualising that pregnancy, that baby, that child that I'm doing this for and before I know it, I've pushed through it and it's time to finish. I've got my personal training sessions and I've done 4 of them now. Two more to go. The last two she's really pushed me and I think it's fair to say my legs and arms will be very sore tomorrow!!!
Weight-wise, I was disappointed to discover on Sunday that I'd only lost 400g since the previous Sunday. I was so devastated that I hadn't reached my goal of 1kg a week when I've been extra good with food (as in NO naughty food at all!) and had been exercising my butt off!
I decided to weigh myself on Tuesday morning as I was sure that the cardio I'd done the couple of days prior to weigh in day just needed an extra day or two to catch up and I was right - according to the scales, I'd lost 1.5kg since Sunday! Clearly I can't expect much of a weight loss (if any) next Sunday when I weigh myself but even if I don't lose anything for the rest of this week, I'm thrilled with this result.
So, the weight loss in total so far is 2.5 + 2.6 + 0.4 + 1.5= 6.5kg!!!
I am ecstatic that I have been able to achieve this on my own because I feel like every kilo I'm losing puts me one step closer to getting pregnant. I decided though that I need to step it up a notch, so I paid some dollars and joined Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. I've started a new blog for my weight loss stuff as there are prizes involved but I'll still update bits and pieces on here. If you're interested in keeping track of my weight loss journey, the new blog is: http://bellas12wbt.blogspot.com/ .
I've actually noticed in the last week-ish my sex drive has started to return, which has definitely gotta be a good thing for baby making eh?!?! Not to mention, the new jeans I bought a few weeks ago no longer fit me (OK so they were a fraction too big for me then, but now they're waaaay too big for me!). That's gotta be a good thing!
Wish me luck!!!!
I've started taking Vitex and I had a good chat to the lady at the chemist. I'm glad I spoke to her as she was actually rather thorough asking questions about my cycle. TMI warning ahead: In talking to her, it seems that perhaps my cycles (apart from being all over the place) are not normal as talking about it, I don't seem to get much red blood when AF arrives, it's mostly brown and clotty. She said this isn't exactly normal but it's not something I need to be rushing off to the doctor about as she seems to think the Vitex will definitely sort this out. I'd be interested in hearing from others about this if you don't mind sharing? She said that it may take at least 2 cycles for the Vitex to have any effect - if you've taken Vitex, what are your experiences with it?
I thought I'd give also give a quick update on the weight loss while I'm here.
I've been going to the gym (including the gym in our building over Easter when the normal gym was closed!) regularly and trying to push harder each time. Every time it starts to feel too hard, I remind myself why I'm doing this, and start visualising that pregnancy, that baby, that child that I'm doing this for and before I know it, I've pushed through it and it's time to finish. I've got my personal training sessions and I've done 4 of them now. Two more to go. The last two she's really pushed me and I think it's fair to say my legs and arms will be very sore tomorrow!!!
Weight-wise, I was disappointed to discover on Sunday that I'd only lost 400g since the previous Sunday. I was so devastated that I hadn't reached my goal of 1kg a week when I've been extra good with food (as in NO naughty food at all!) and had been exercising my butt off!
I decided to weigh myself on Tuesday morning as I was sure that the cardio I'd done the couple of days prior to weigh in day just needed an extra day or two to catch up and I was right - according to the scales, I'd lost 1.5kg since Sunday! Clearly I can't expect much of a weight loss (if any) next Sunday when I weigh myself but even if I don't lose anything for the rest of this week, I'm thrilled with this result.
So, the weight loss in total so far is 2.5 + 2.6 + 0.4 + 1.5= 6.5kg!!!
I am ecstatic that I have been able to achieve this on my own because I feel like every kilo I'm losing puts me one step closer to getting pregnant. I decided though that I need to step it up a notch, so I paid some dollars and joined Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. I've started a new blog for my weight loss stuff as there are prizes involved but I'll still update bits and pieces on here. If you're interested in keeping track of my weight loss journey, the new blog is: http://bellas12wbt.blogspot.com/ .
I've actually noticed in the last week-ish my sex drive has started to return, which has definitely gotta be a good thing for baby making eh?!?! Not to mention, the new jeans I bought a few weeks ago no longer fit me (OK so they were a fraction too big for me then, but now they're waaaay too big for me!). That's gotta be a good thing!
Wish me luck!!!!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Weigh in day
This morning was weigh in day. I was nervous. I almost didn't weigh myself. My goal was to have lost 1kg since Sunday last week. I stupidly had already weighed myself on Wednesday and had only lost 200g which is really nothing. I know it was too early, but I was still worried I'd be disappointed when I stood on the scales this morning.
But, I wasn't disappointed. In fact, I wasn't disappointed at all, I was thrilled to discover that I had lost 2.6kg since Sunday last week.
It's amazing what can happen when you prioritise baby over chocolate etc (although I won't lie - this week when I had AF, and when I was writing the assignment that was due, I'd have LOVED some chocolate but I refused to give into temptation).
I had a personal training session on Thursday night and we talked about my goal to have a baby, the weight that might be holding me back from achieving that goal and how my bad lower back will cope when I do get that goal.
We did some exercises that will hopefully strengthen my core muscles etc in the hope that it will help when I do get pregnant. I realised how much I'd missed personal training and how much better the gym is for me when I have someone to answer to, and someone to push me further than I'd push myself. I decided to pay for 6 PT sessions for the month I've got this gym membership, which works out to be 2 sessions a week. I decided it was an investment in losing the weight in the hope that this will help me get pregnant, and also an investment to make pregnancy easier on my back. It might only be a month, but after that month, I'll definitely be looking at joining a gym and doing PT again - it really does make such a difference.
I also hope that by focussing on my health, it will take the focus off TTC and also make me feel a bit better about myself. I have to admit that since I realised just how much weight I'd put on, I haven't felt like DTD as much as I used to. To be honest, the reason we were out last month was because I'd ovulated late, and we really hadn't had sex around that time, at all...! I hope that by losing weight, it'll give me back my mojo and we'll be going like rabbits again like we used to, before TTC and before I realised how much weight I'd put on. This too, will help us get that baby that we both want.
Fingers crossed!
xxx
But, I wasn't disappointed. In fact, I wasn't disappointed at all, I was thrilled to discover that I had lost 2.6kg since Sunday last week.
It's amazing what can happen when you prioritise baby over chocolate etc (although I won't lie - this week when I had AF, and when I was writing the assignment that was due, I'd have LOVED some chocolate but I refused to give into temptation).
I had a personal training session on Thursday night and we talked about my goal to have a baby, the weight that might be holding me back from achieving that goal and how my bad lower back will cope when I do get that goal.
We did some exercises that will hopefully strengthen my core muscles etc in the hope that it will help when I do get pregnant. I realised how much I'd missed personal training and how much better the gym is for me when I have someone to answer to, and someone to push me further than I'd push myself. I decided to pay for 6 PT sessions for the month I've got this gym membership, which works out to be 2 sessions a week. I decided it was an investment in losing the weight in the hope that this will help me get pregnant, and also an investment to make pregnancy easier on my back. It might only be a month, but after that month, I'll definitely be looking at joining a gym and doing PT again - it really does make such a difference.
I also hope that by focussing on my health, it will take the focus off TTC and also make me feel a bit better about myself. I have to admit that since I realised just how much weight I'd put on, I haven't felt like DTD as much as I used to. To be honest, the reason we were out last month was because I'd ovulated late, and we really hadn't had sex around that time, at all...! I hope that by losing weight, it'll give me back my mojo and we'll be going like rabbits again like we used to, before TTC and before I realised how much weight I'd put on. This too, will help us get that baby that we both want.
Fingers crossed!
xxx
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