A disappointing holiday

We got back on Tuesday from 5 days in New Zealand.  I wish I could say that it was a great holiday but it was actually really disappointing, even though in 'public' (ie Facebook), it was GREAT.

We went with friends of my Sydney Boy's and it felt like we spent half the time there waiting.  Breakfast was always organised for 10am, and then we'd spend 15 to 20 mins waiting for them to arrive (we were all staying in separate hotels).  So, by the time they arrived, ordered food and then ate and made decisions about what we'd be doing for the day (because they would never commit to anything the day before!), it was around 11.30/12 so half the day had literally gone therefore limiting what we could do, or the number of places/things we could go and do.  So, that was very disappointing and very frustrating.

The other reason that the holiday was disappointing is because when we booked this holiday, I had envisioned that I would be pregnant.  I'd spent so much of the time leading up to the holiday thinking that I would be pregnant on our holiday because it seemed (at the time of booking it) like such a long time away.  So of course when AF arrived on the Sunday before we left for NZ, 3 days early and totally unexpected I might add, it just felt like an extra kick in the guts.

Every time I ate seafood, I couldn't help but think "I wouldn't have been eating this if I was pregnant", every pregnant woman I saw made me think "that should have been me!".  I couldn't even really enjoy the day at the Polynesian Spa, because the whole time I was sitting in the sulphur spa, I kept thinking "I don't think I'd have been doing this if I were pregnant - why aren't I pregnant yet? What is wrong with me?" and, let's face it, in the spa, you're pretty alone with your thoughts without the distraction of TV/internet/phone/ipod etc (and Sydney Boy had gone go-carting with his mates so no distraction from a companion either).

I know I really should be grateful - and I really do have so much to be thankful about.  Heck, some people can't even afford to have a quick overseas holiday, and some have been trying far longer than we have.  Not to mention the fact that once we have a baby, these get aways will become harder to organise and more expensive (maybe even non-existent, for a while).

Believe me when I say I am grateful for what we have, and enjoying what I've got, but I think I have learnt a very important lesson from all of this.

Up until now, I had put a ban on organising any more holidays this year because "I might be pregnant by then/have a new born" etc etc.  I realised that in doing this, I'm potentially only setting myself up for disappointment if by that time I'm still not pregnant.  I realised that I need something to look forward to and if a baby isn't it, it may as well damn well be a freakin' holiday.

So, with that in mind, I've started to look at various destinations for a holiday toward the end of the year.  We won't be booking anything until after we've moved in May/June and get ourselves set up, but at least by then, the year will be halfway over and there'll be no danger of having a newborn before the end of the year.

I hope that in making this decision, the end of the year will be associated with a holiday which is something I DO have control over, rather than a baby which is something that I have NO control over.

So, the important question now is...

Where should we go?!